I talk myself out of happiness because it's easier to be sad and disappointed and to joke about it. I should stop only seeing my broken pieces because there are so many incredible things within me that cover those broken pieces. Maybe I want everything to be grey and grim because if I let just a little bit of light or attend to do something more it will eventually hurt me and then I will spend another eternity feeling bad for letting the light in or hoping too much.
I don't want to spend my time hiding from what is mine and what I am destined to be just because I have lack of confidence to get out there and get it. I should stop living like I am not deserving of everything that I want and I should stop holding myself back from getting the career I want, living where I want, getting a boyfriend...
I am tired of saying one day, because it need to be now because I am wasting my time wishing instead of being.