I often find myself drifting into numbing shadiness where I feel isolated because I am arduously complicated.
Where everything on my mind is puzzled. Including my ideas, opinions and perspective on life.
Where everything I am and everything I want to be is non-existent. I am engrossed with the thought that my existence on earth has no purpose or will not have a purpose.
Look, I am not implying that I'm suicidal. I am trying to scrutinise my pain. Breaking it down to why I feel this way, how and when it will stop.
It's different this time, I can feel the change in me.
From my sullied mind to my grieving heart and searing body, I am swotting and experiencing change.