Hi all :)

I just wanted to come on here and rant a little bit about boys and how annoying/dumb they can be.

So 2 years ago I met this boy and we became best friends almost instantly. About a year later, we both discovered we had feelings for each other, just never at the same time. It was always back and forth, I like him, he doesn't like me. He likes me, I don't like him. Eventually, we decided to just give it a shot despite how we felt. We never officially "dated" so to say, but we never didn't date? (It was very complicated). Then about a year later, I had to leave for college. We "split up" and promised to wait for each other, whatever that meant. After my first semester, I dropped out for the rest of the year. We decided that maybe for just a little while we could rekindle the flames or whatever that saying is.

So now, we are here. And I've realized, that although I still have just a small amount of feelings for him, he only wants me for my body. I don't know if it's because I'm "virgin territory" (never had a boyfriend, no first kiss, not first anythings, and I was 17 at the time, 18 now). We had a conversation the other day making plans to hang out during spring break, and while having this conversation, he said some things that really pushed my buttons and made me realize something. I had always been back and forth with myself about whether he really liked me or just wanted me for my body/take advantage of me, and I talked with my closest friends about it, but I just kept trying to push my intuition away. Now I know that I was right this whole time. He kept trying to push me to do things I didn't want to do, and he would go ahead and do things that I wasn't 100% comfortable with.

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I got played, big time. And I'm fully aware of it now. I've had my heart broken by boys in the past, but I have never been played so hard. I hate that sometimes we can be so blindsided by love that we don't see the other person for who they really are. I thought I liked this guy for who he was and how he treated me when this whole time I didn't realize how fake it all was. Because we were best friends, I thought that I knew him, I knew that he would treat me right, I didn't doubt it for a second when I first met him. But people can surprise you. Also, I don't think it helped that I didn't have any experience, so maybe that gave him the mindset that he could help me "catch up" to everyone or just that he could take advantage of me and I wouldn't know any better.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that: Sometimes we can't even trust the people we know the best.

Thanks for listening to my rant and taking time out of your day/night to read it. I hope that you all can maybe learn something from it :)