okay so i've been thinking about something. so, i thought i was in love. but i feel like i only wanted someone to love me, someone to never give up on me. cause the thing is he is gone, and then a new guy came around and i was thinking that i would do him like my ex did me, but this guy kinda left. like he is still here, we are still friends and we talk a little bit, but he does not sweet talk anymore, and i am about to go crazy because of that. and when he left i kinda went running back to my ex and when i did not get the response i wanted, i left. i left and i started talking to another guy that i have kinda talked to before, and then he did not give me exactly what i wanted either so i left him too. i feel everything i am saying right now is just fucking stupid and may not make sense to many people, and some people will obviously think i am a hoe or an attention seeker, which idk if i agree or not. i mean, i am kinda fucked up if i am doing this, but i am not sure if i am. and here is why. okay so me and my ex went really deep, like we were super close and i loved being so close with someone. i loved having someone to i could tell everything too and who could tell me everything. i have extremely many hella good memories with him and no matter how fake the chemistry between us was i do not regret any of it. i often listen to songs that remind me of him and cry. maybe i am just a phsyco idk.