To my past love,

I know you never fell for me or at least not hard as i did.. You were my whole damn world, but I obviously wasn't yours anymore. I was not the type of girl you would fall in love with. At first, i took care of your broken heart. Then, you ditched me in the end. We've planned our future together. We were both happy and blessed. I know we had a cute and happy relationship, everything was so perfect and i know you felt the same way.

But, right now i can't see myself falling for anyone else, as even now i still think of you. I opened my eyes and you weren't here. You were gone. Far away. The distance between us just ruined everything. Silence.
You didn't really care about me or us.
I miss you so much. I wish i didn't, but i do.
I wake up every morning and when i open my eyes, full of tears , i still see you smiling. Oh heaven!

I can see that you're happy. It hurts to see you happy. Yeah, it hurts. You moved on. I'm sorry for everything. And i hate it. I hate every day that I have spent without you. It hurts so bad and I don't think anyone could ever understand how much i loved you . But now i can't get you out of my mind. I'm tired. Everything's so messed up. Your words cut deeper than a knife. I re-read all our conversations we had in the past whenever i miss you. It still seems so true but you destroyed them. I tried my best not to fall for you. I still tell that to myself. You killed my heart. Just seeing your pictures smiling, makes my heart flip, a huge burden on my chest, my stomach drop, tears streaming down my face..

"And my breath becoming faster than ever.
I beg to leave,
yet at the same time,
you've never been forcing me to stay.
It hurts so bad."

I don't wanna know if you still think of me. I hope you get the whole world's happiness.
I hope you feel better and happier now we aren't together. It does seem like it. Now you don't have someone like me annoying you with my thoughts and our future together every time of the day and i think I will still be loving you forever. I hate the fact that i can't hate you. i never can.
I love you.
And I'm sorry.
I think i always will.
~R

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