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There is a temptation that urges submission inside.
What is it about him?
There is fear that lingers inside
That he will look at others—or others at him like I do.
It is clear that I want him only for myself,
But it is not clear if he wants me.
Maybe I am exaggerating,
But I cannot control this feeling.
I begin to grow daring,
Though maybe I'm running impatient.
I look at him and think,
Will you look at me and only me?

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When he makes the first move,
I will commit as if he is my master.
He will be in control as I am under command.
Perhaps he will ask me to strip him of his cologne stained,
Buttoned up shirt before he forcibly removes my own.
His eyes may be filled with lustrous greed
As his glistening gaze pierces my body.
His deep, raspy voice cannot conceal his desire.
This could not be real, or else this moment is a lie.
Has he done this good to others?
Am I different, or just another?
No matter, my longing for him
Is stronger than my innocence.
If this is greed, then it is sin.
If this is love, it must be a lie.

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His mere presence is terrifyingly teasing.
He appears profoundly pleasing.
Physically, he can afflict pain.
Mentally, I bear the gain.
There is a gap that only he can fill.
He is undeniably irresistible,
Which is why I wait, but he is yet to recognize me.
Once he is cognizant, he may forcibly pin me against the wall
With only his one hand gripping
Both wrists of mine above my head.
He may stare straight into my eyes
With a wild gaze before he says,
you will look at me and only me.

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My innocence will be corrupted.
My Heaven will tarnish.
The devil has me reeled in.
He is my Stigma.
He is my sin.

Please do not steal my original writing piece. Thank you for reading~