I have come to realize how limited life is when you're broke, how many opportunities you don't feel like you have, how much life could offer you if only you had the money.
Money buys food, to live and to satisfy. Money buys gas for your car, so you go places. Unless you don't have the money to fix your unreliable car, you can't get very far. Money buys tickets, concert movie play, for enjoyment. Money buys new clothes when you are so depressed and need a pick me up. Money can be donated and make you feel good that way. Money supports your pets, your family, your life. Makes it possible. It buys the blanket when your cold, and the plane ticket you need for Florida.
I hate to say it, but watching my mother work herself so hard, living paycheck to paycheck, the constant stress of balancing multiple jobs and still worrying about making rent... Money is basically everything.
I'm 23 and I understand how hard financial stability can be to attain. But I also have the anxiety and depression that prevents me from getting through college to get an easier, better paying job, that would most likely ensure financial stability. I have my mental setbacks, and I see through my mom how suffocating adult life can be. I'm afraid to live it, afraid of it all hitting me at once and crushing me under the pressure.

I've had a lot on my mind lately, and this is a topic that surfaces every once in a while, like today after getting groceries bc there was no food in the house.
I have a strange relationship with food, because I'm a very picky eater who can't really cook. And I don't like to be made out to seem pathetic for eating Raisin Bran or mac n cheese for dinner every night, because even if I had the money, and remembered to buy salmon and asparagus, I wouldn't know how to cook it because no one ever taught me. Google it, they say. Well, that would involve caring, caring about myself when I don't care if I eat 2 granola bars for a meal, or a bag of steamed broccoli. I eat healthily, half the time, there's just the elements of not having a lot of money and not caring.
Hm, this turned into kind of a rant. Don't get me started on my boy drama! Haha. Is it true you can message fellow Hearters? If so, If anyone can deeply relate to anything I've said, totally message me.
-EDS
PS I'm not even gunna proofread this.