I’m going to start this by telling a little story about my life.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl who had a best friend.
She and her best friend, Alex, did everything together and in the darkest moment of the little girl’s life he was there for her and she loved him more than she loved herself and anything or anyone in the world. Until one day, the boy got tired of her, he got girls who wanted to kiss him and he stabbed her friend in the back. The girl cried and cried for a year, she ended up in the hospital because she couldn’t eat and if she did eat she threw up, she couldn’t trust anyone and changed schools, but was scared of making new friends in her new school and this kept going on for like a year, and the boy, her ex best friend never cared.
The little girl is me, obviously, and this is the short version of what happened to me with Alex.
Eventually I got into the best private school here and I opened myself to two girls, who are now my best friends, I fell in love with a guy who was so nice and lovable, but he went away to college, to stanford and my best friends went to live to europe, but now I am fine and I have a lot of friends, most of them are not real tho, but I learnt to differentiate the real ones from the fake ones a long time ago.

So, I am happy, I am currently learning three languages and I am in the chess team, so I am in a really good place, and I thought I had forgotten about Alex, until last saturday.
A friend invited me to a party of a girl in my past school. I knew there was a really good chance of running into Alex, but I wanted to go because I wanted to prove to myself that I had no feelings for him anymore, so I went and I felt really uncomfortable because the people I used to know I didn’t anymore. My friend and I were considering going to our homes, when I ran into a Finnish friend and we were talking and everything. Suddenly I saw him (Alex) and I ran away and then fell downstairs and I broke my foot, well, I broke one of my foot's tendons, but I managed to keep walking and in heels because I refused to be humiliated and currently I can’t walk, but well, it was worth it.
So, for the rest of the party a friend of mine was really drunk and he kept talking to me about his ex girlfriend and he was crying, so all I did was give him comfort and then I had to help him get to the bathroom, so, when my friend entered the bathroom, I ran into Alex and he saw me. I can tell he didn’t know what to do, so I decided I had two choices, to keep holding to the anger and ignore him or to be the big person and say hi to him, and that’s what I did.
We talked for like two minutes and the we said goodbye and for what was left of the weekend I kept crying because God, I realized I miss him so much.
I don’t want to be his friend anymore, I just miss him.
He hugged me, and it felt like home. I looked into his eyes and I saw everything.
But anyways, I need to get into college and I’m going to live abroad in august, so, I have to move on. I moved on, I just miss him and the person I used to be when I was with him.
The reason I write this is because I needed to get it off my chest. I can’t explain what Alex means to me anymore, but I do know I love him. It’s the kind of love you know will be there forever, it has changed and it’s different now, but it’s definitely still there. I realized that letting go it’s what I needed to heal.