Hello Mistakes

Today i should discuss my first love, but i think i don't even know what a real love is. Only things i know, that there are some hands you don't want to let go, eyes you never get tired of seeing, some voices that makes you always smile and some hugs you never want to end.

It all started in a may 2013, he was a friend of my best friend and she was crazy about him. She is also in my dance crew, so the first time i saw him was at our performance. It was so nice from him, that he came to support her, but she was always that type of a girl with a lot attention from boys. After that performance we started going to swimming pool, me and my friend, he and his friends. There was seen that i caught his eye. I was playing volleyball and water fights with them, jumping to the pools and going on the water slides, but my friend didn't even want to get wet her hair. After few times at the pool, he wrote me on a facebook and we started talking a lot. He became my best friend, but i thought that he likes my friend (now i know that he didn't at all)
First otf the august we were first time out, alone. He was wearing his bermuda shorts, tank top, hoodie and his messy almost blond hair were everywhere. He looked like a surfer guys from the movies. He were talking a lot, but he was a great listener too. After two hours of talking on bench in the park, he saw me off in front of my house and there he held my face and slightly kissed me on the lips. It was so beautifly innocent. (I actually smile during writing this, even if i know this has no happy end)

Then we started dating, i was 16 and he was 17. After a four months, we were outside for a walk and the rain started pouring. He was holding my hand and i was telling him somekind of story : "... and he asked me if i want to go out with him and of course i told him that no, i have a boyfriend that i love and..." in that moment he stopped i the middle of the road, stood in front of me and asked me : "You love me?" i was so in shock that i just stood there and nod with my head. He smiled and hug me tightly and whispered in my ear "I love you too, baby girl."
After 8 months i decided to agree with a important thing. We can have sex. He was my first and i thought he'll be also my last. It was great and it made us even closer, but there also started a problems. As we did these stuff regularly he wanted more. More attention, more love, more sex, more things i wasn't really feeling comfortable in. He took all of me and totally change it. I didn't have any friends, i was always arguing with my parents, my marks were terrible and i didn't recognized myself in a mirror. I dedicated all my time to him. In the morining he was walking me to my school, because of him i was late everyday, every break he was calling me, because he didn't want me to talk to other people, after school he waited in front of my school and we go to his flat, i was there till 9 then he called me a taxi and i went home, had a shower, he called me and then i fall asleep.
This relationship lasted for a 2 years. I broke up with him on my 18 birthday, because he was cheating on me with one of our friends for a 5 months. It was actually the best thing that could happend to us. We were too young to be in this relationship. We changed a lot during our journey. He showed me what love definitely is not and how man shouldn't treat a woman. Now we are friends and he apologized to me many times. Even if i don't have any feelings for him, he'll be my first love forever.

If you are more curious about how uncomfortable was this relationship, read my article "Maybe he doesn't hit you but ... "

XOXO Mistakes