Hi, this article is going to be about my problems, you can read it if you want. If you don't I don't really mind. If you want to message me you can. If not I also don't really mind.

Okay, this past week I have been so good. When I say so good I mean so so so so so so good. I have been so happy I could scream. I would be walking somewhere and just looking around me, smiling, thinking, realising how good my life is and how happy I am. I remember feeling so excited about this that I had to physically bite my lip to stop myself from screaming.
A couple of years ago I went through a short depression, about a year I think, maybe longer? Since then I have made it my mission to be happy and when I feel this happy I feel even happier because I think about my growth and achievement.
Yesterday, I was walking to college, extremely happy again, this was normal now, I had been like it all week. The day was normal.
Nothing really happened in particular. But I started feeling normal again (not so ridiculously happy. I had no sense of excitement to hold back. I was looking at the sky and the trees and feeling neutral. There were birds singing and I didn't care.)

By the end of the day, a deep sadness had fallen over me. I didn't want to speak to or see anyone, I wanted to sit alone and cry. Completely unprovoked sadness with no trigger.

I wrote this:

Sometimes I get sad for no reason at all I know that there is no reason because when I feel this type of sad I want to cry. I try to think of things to cry about and I cant. I want to cry about something that's going badly in my life but I can't think of anything that makes me cry. I feel bad because I literally have no reason to cry because my life is perfect but I still feel sad. I hate that I do that. I hate that I feel sad even though everything is going perfectly well.
I feel like I sound like I'm complaining about having a perfect life [ in every aspect excluding mental health ] but I'm not. I'm complaining about not being able to feel happy all of the time with no amount of reason.


I realised that a similar thing has happened before a few times, less extremely but still. So, as any other millennial would, I turned to google: "really happy then really sad." (I am not qualified or even remotely educated in any of this so don't take this as anything factual, because there is a high chance it is not.) Bipolar came up. I don't know much about bipolar but have looked at some of the symptoms and think that it may be that. I don't know. If any of you have bipolar maybe message me and we could talk if you want? If any of you do have bipolar and don't appreciate my writing this, I apologise but honestly, I just need it to be something so I don't have to blame myself.

Love, Katelyn

(I also think that I am an indigo (if you know, you know) I've read about a link but I'm not sure, if you know hmu?)