No matter your mood please never feel like you are less than you are.

Most days I look in the mirror and hate what I see. Most days I avoid it because I know looking at my reflection will make me feel worse about myself. Most days I turn away when I catch someone looking at me, for I fear there is something wrong with me and I feel judged. I am constantly put up by my friends, those in my life that want to see me shine, but for some reason, I remain the only person telling myself how ugly I am, how fat I am, how stupid I am. I seem to be the only thing weighing myself down, yet I'm the loudest voice, and my opinion weighs out all the other positive ones. Not because I'm stubborn, not because I want to spite them. But because since I don't look like those other girls, because I don't act like them, talk like them, live like them. I believe that every compliment I've ever received is a lie. And everyone is just telling me what they think I want to hear. I hate that I do this, I hate being so insecure and indecisive. I have such an amazing style, but I hate my body so much I never have the confidence to wear any of the things I like. So I put myself it baggy sweaters, and allow the image of perfection to cloud the way I live my life. I'm writing this in hope that you reading this can relate. And please, read this next part.

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I used to surround myself with people that I always looked at as better than me, they have the perfect physique, and I did not. But it took me four long years to leave those people and to surround myself with those whom I feel comfortable around. I thought that I had to look like everyone else because there was no one around that looked like me. But I'll let you know a secret. There are so many more people out there then who you see before you. Never stop looking. There are seven billion people on the planet. Don't try and force a relationship with toxic people that make you doubt and hate yourself. Self-doubt regardless of friends is a given, but don't let others add to it. Keep hunting and I'm sure you'll find those who bring out the best in you. The friends that I have now have pushed me to do things that they knew I was too scared to do. And when I accomplished those things, it made me realize how much I doubt myself, and how much the support from others impacts us. I gave up thinking I had to live this perfect life and started looking at things that I truly loved. Sports, school. I stopped worrying about boys, makeup. If that's what you love, then embrace it, but never try and make yourself something that you're not. It's a phrase that is used so often but really holds meaning. We're influenced by our peers, but the minute that we want to become them as to accomplish materialistic realities. That is when we lose ourselves. We lose the beautiful person that could live so much healthier if they only chose to surround themselves with people who appreciate them.The message is not to cause you to ditch all the friends you currently have. But to help you if you're in one of those situations you think you'll never come out of. I hated hanging out with people that made me hate myself, I would picture other people looking at me and seeing how I stuck out like a sore thumb. I wouldn't want to get up or go to school; but more then anything, I didn't want to be without friends. So I put myself through torture for a status that now means nothing to me. What means something is the people in my life who I can picture being friends with years from now.

The biggest step to loving yourself is not to finally believe the compliments that people give you, it's to start giving them to yourself.