I need a break. God I need a break. You ever just have one of those weeks were the world just keeps hitting you with something. You think it is over but then something new arrives like *BAM* "hey there friend". I honestly feel like this has been the worst week and a half of my life. I've had bad days before but never things one after another. I'll let you into a little slice of my life.

Last week we had to put my dog down; she had osteoporosis in her back legs, an enlarged heart, a disease of the esophagus which could only be treated by her standing properly while eating, which her legs prohibited her from doing, and to top it all off: she was diagnosed with cancer in the lung. The heartbreak of it all was that I felt guilt for having stolen away life that I knew she was capable of giving. Anyway, that was my Tuesday.

On the Wednesday I then had a test for marketing which I had briefly covered. Let's just saying I wasn't in the mood. After that I had to deal with having to go home. It was as if grief was a lingering smoke that filled our house. To put it into words, I could feel it suffocating me. To make it worse our other dog got sick. He wasn't eating nor was he moving around. I think he was grieving too. I later found out that in the blur of things I missed a tutorial which requires participation for you to get the marks needed for that class. So that sucked but there's nothing I can do about it. During the week two out of three of our cars broke down; the only hail Mary being that it happened at different times. I will say that it messed up an already chaotic routine making my days even more unfamiliar without our previous family member. My brother then went to hospital that weekend for a pain in his side.

The doctors brushed it off as nothing but my brothers reaction to the whole thing told me something else. He had a panic attack while in the waiting room where he proceeded to punch himself in the face saying, "I shouldn't be here". Lets just say he's spent his fair time in hospitals and the thought of causing my parents grief ways hard on his mind. He's not okay. We thought he was getting better. Anyways, week's over right? Was pretty crazy but surely it stops there? Nope. I'm sorry to disappoint but the craziness of this past week and a half lasted until the following Wednesday.

I had a test both on that Tuesday and the Wednesday. Not sure when I was supposed to find time to study for them in between grieving and rushing around. The Tuesday test was one that I didn't take seriously and focused all of my energy on the Wednesday test. Big mistake. I got home that evening exhausted mentally and physically. It took me the time of feeding the dogs and walking to my room before I broke down.

That night I cried so hard I gave myself a headache. I'd been pushing all the emotions of the past week away since I didn't have time to sit down and have a proper cry and a good breather. It all caught up with me and I took a whopping four hours before I could focus on the work for the next day. The world seemed to be working in fours because I got four hours of sleep that night and was woken up at four in the morning. Weird. I've never thought about that before today. My brother leaves for work at four and my family decided it would be a good idea to make enough noise to wake the neighbors. I'm not salty or anything.

So that was my week and a bit; it ended with me writing a corporate finance test and taking a very long nap.

Side note: I was tempted to post this at four to create some level of significance, but I don't have that level of dedication. It's four somewhere right?
--OMG just realised this is my fourth entry. What is HApEnnINg??