1.Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean he will show up at the wedding. FML

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2.Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. and said the word "hell". FML

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3.Today, I had this plan to ask a girl to prom, and it was going to take a few minutes, I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to prom, she said yes. FML

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4.Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML.

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5.Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML.

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6.Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML.

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7.Today, I woke up and poured my self a large glass of orange juice from a cartoon and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML.

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8.Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 months. He was always worried I would cheat on him, so he cheated on me. FML.

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9.Today, My fiancee broke up with me via MySpace message while we were on the same apartment. FML.

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10.Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I peed myself in front of my friends, including my crush. FML.

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11.Today, I got dumbed for the second time by the guy I'd been seeing. He actually forgot he dumped me once this week and did it again. FML.

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12.Today, I was rejected from the university of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML.

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