we don't have time for any of this bullshit
why do we let the sadness take control

why do we let his grip grab us by the neck
choke us into believiening that we deserve it

i'm tired of it

i ran away but he follows
and the moment i think that i escape
he grabs me from behind

reminding me of what i will never be

the smoke is beautiful
the rain is beautiful
he is beautiful

i want him to hold my hand
instead of suffocating me

in a way i want to turn around and let him
because i know that if he does
he'll sickeningly grin
because he won

my empathy
my love
all of my strength

am i ok with this?

-i