here we are again
i'm writing about you for the fourth time

why

thinking about all the times i have been used
you used me the most

the worst part is you don't even know
how betrayed i feel

but you knew what you were doing
when you use to called me and ask to get pancakes in the morning
or when you hugged me as we watched a movie
or helped me up when i fell as we were ice skating

home was a living hell at the time
you were my escape

why though

i moved and i thought my heart would follow
but it hasn't

i can't deal with thinking about you all the time
i loved you

i hate that i did
and somewhat still do

it's an unhealthy love

i hate that
that your'e still controlling me five hours away

and i texted you the other day
because i have been writing about you

you left me on read
this is the truth

and as silly as all of my stories seem about you
they were all true

the way i felt and what you did
i feel like i could never love someone ever again

because then i'll just get used
thank you for ruining that

it's not even that i'm stuck on the fact that you'll see me
and feel something, like the way i did

but the way you'll see me
and how i changed

when you look into my eyes i want you to see what you've done

-i