In my short life time I have been called many things. Most, are not note worthy to me – But others stick with me the more they are said to me. Being 'extra' can only be defined as: Over the top, excessive and too much. This is one category I’m sure many people, currently and no longer in my life, would rank me in.

In some cases, this word has been used against me, in an attempt to insinuate that my actions, or the way I choose to present my emotions, are second-rate. In other instances, the use of the word can be used as a form of admiration for an individual’s actions. The term has been used both ways towards me, and in all honesty, in the beginning I took offence to this harmless word being used to label my being.

When the term was employed against me, It was used to replace the word annoying. These words are so simple, and at first glance I can understand why some may not fully comprehend why these words offended me. These terms, both so similar in meaning, are the ones that reoccur in your thoughts – Especially when you look forward to being excited about something you are currently dealing with, or your expectations. These are the words that ring in your conscience, when you are prepared to make a statement in a room full of people, and are able to single handedly shut you up. No one wants to be the annoying or extra friend in the group, we want to be similar to those we surround ourselves with.

In other cases, this word has been used in my favour. For this, I am grateful. The ways in which people chose to speak of me when incorporating the words, that used to embarrass me, into their way of speaking about me – was a change in context that, in a way, empowered me. Instead of speaking of my most prominent trait in a negative light, they would add '…I love it' to the end. These three words, made me secure. And as the people around me started to understand my ways of presenting myself, I started to understand and fall in love with my differences.

Personally, it took me a long time to get over my fear of seeming excessive when compared to others. When I learned that being different from those around me wasn’t a negative trait, I stopped holding myself back.

I reminded myself, that being too much was better than being too little of something. I would rather be seen as a lot, or extreme, rather than not enough. I am extra, and that is something that, I now, would say about myself. In these terms, I am able to explore things to my full potential, and react in ways that are genuine and pure to my character.

This post is one that many may not relate to, or seen as something to be proud of. But this, this term is one that has shaped me, and allowed me to explore my self worth and love over the years.