Hey everyone I'm back with another article. This one is about what i want to establish, feel, act, etc before falling in love. Well, in my case... falling in love again.

I fell in love once but instead of getting to know each other more we kinda rushed things and it wasn't the best. So I was just sitting around thinking one day and I wrote down twelve different things to do, feel, express, just all of the above before I ever think about falling in love again. So, here they and I hope you can get things out of them as well.

1. I want us to be friends. Which means, I want to be able to eat my favorite pizza with you, while having some sauce all over my face and pepperoni in my hair ( how idk just roll with it) without feeling embarrassed or concerned about it.
I want to be comfortable with you. I want to be okay about being messy, irritating, embarrassing, disgusting, even petty while with you. Because I will be petty when I see my ex best friend post a happy picture and I will be messy during my finals and I will be embarrassing when meeting your parents, for I SUCK AT MEETING NEW PEOPLE. I want to be okay with being who I am and the only way to be okay is to know that you're okay with me being other things then beautiful , graceful, and composed all the time.

2. I want to be able to have long and passionate conversations with you, not just about existential things but also about what went wrong in the ending of that book and how kids are affected by media and how my favorite television character is getting killed off or how I just simple love the show. I want to have conversations where we may not always have the same views but our values always fall in place. I want to talk to you about the beauty of the stars but I also want to talk to you about the disgusting people in this world.

3. I want to see how consistent your actions are with your words. I don't want to fall for love letters or poems, for sweet Instagram captions or long birthday texts, I want want to fall in love with you showing up on time and keeping your promises. (oh but yeah a good morning texts wont hurt lol)

4. I want to take it slow. I want our story to work in years, not months. I want to respect time and space this time.

5. I want to make sure I am not seeking love from you for the lack of love I have for myself. I want to make sure you aren't a void I am filling in, you are not an alternative to the things I can't give myself. I want to make sure you are not doing the same.

6. I want to work out with my insecurities and fears from the past. I don't want to subject you to the doubts, suspicion and anger i carry from the people I have known in the past.

7. I need/want time to myself not because I don't wanna talk to you not because you annoy me or anything up that ally but because in order for me to be a happy person and in order to take care of myself I need some time alone. All i'm asking for is two or three hours a day to read, write, relax, sleep or whatever it may be I just need time to reconnect with myself. If you need me I will give you time just simply ask.

8.Let's agree that our relationship is a no judgement zone. You are free to be completely 100% you. All of the burping, slightly odd, hogging the covers, overly generous, wickedly funny, crazy affectionate, million other wonderful things that you are. Be them. Don't ever hold back, even a bit, even when you think you will offend me or hurt my feelings, or that I will judge you. Because if we're going to make this work , all that I mentioned will happen. We can not be afraid that the person we care about is not going to care for us back when we are not perfect. NO ONE'S PERFECT. I will be cranky and eat a whole bag of chips or might have my days were i don't feel like cleaning. Thoughtless words will be said from the both of us. Let's pause. Breathe. Address the issue without judgement, and talk.

9. On that note, It's okay to fight. Because sometimes you will hate me and sometimes I will annoy you so much you will want to claw out your own eardrums just to quiet the sound of my voice. But, that is okay, because i will feel the same way towards you. Believe me, because my temper sometimes, not all the time is like a thunder storm. Usually short, but wicked, and known to cause some damage. We will get past it. If we accept each other. If we don't stonewall. If we can give space, and love, and don't fight dirty. We will drive each other nuts. Let's talk. Let's try to be on the same side.

10. Let's be silly. And sad. And joyful. Let's make cookies, and memories, love and a life that is full. Of what, I'm not sure yet. It's taken me a long time to get to this place... I'm ready to find out.

11. Before I Fall In Love , I want to make a mattress with you. Of understanding and respect and rust. So when we fall, it doesn't hurt.