There's something about stepping back that hits hard. You realize how much it means to have them there. You realize all the things that you miss when they're not around. You realize that every breath you take has more meaning when it's with them. You realize that some words aren't the same. You realize that some tastes are different. And some sights are like triggers. Triggers to a place so deep it makes you want to vomit. But it's not in your stomach, it's in the pits of your heart. That soft spot where they once lived. Even if it was for a short time. And the only way to fill it again is to change the things you do and wish to forget what you've done.