Why did I realize it after you left me?

" I love you" you said

I loved you with everything I had and that still wasn't enough

I watched you grow into the person you are now but I don't even see you anymore.

Part of me wants to tell you " you broke my heart" over and over again but I have a feeling you already know

Let me remind you though...
I had to go to therapy to deal with you. They told me to leave before you left me

" id never leave you" you said

I didn't listen because I was in love with the you I met 2 years ago

people told me to throw away everything that reminded me of you.

why didn't I throw away our pictures?
why am I still waiting for you to come back?
why am I still trying to get your attention?

Its time I tell myself the truth

You were my first love

" I like matt" you said

but why did I let myself think we were together?
why did I want to grow old with you?
why did I want to kiss you in other places other than the cheek?

why did I let myself believe we were meant to be?

So as I lay in bed ill be thinking about what you are wearing and thinking because even if I want to hate you I know I could never let you die.

" we are partners in crime" you kissed me on the cheek
I will be here so you can come back to me

please remember I am here until I am dead.