My first love - you may or may not be expecting something else - was not a real person, but a book character. I was quite young, so please don't judge me too hard on this one.

jace, morgenstern, and herondale image

His name was Jace Wayland/Morgenstern, from City of bones (the book version), and I was completely obsessed with him. I compared people from my daily life to him, nobody could live up to my expectations. I was about ten years old at the time and I actually did reject someone because he just wasn't Jace.

Abusive image

Who was Jace though? You must know, I was a hardcore bookworm back then, reading books of over a hundred pages in a day. I read the whole book of city of bones in about a day and I can honestly say, up to this day, eight years later, I have never encountered a character that made laugh and fall in love as hard as Jace. My naive child's brain with an overactive imagination, thought I'd someday manage to meet someone just like Jace. Book characters are always inspired in real people, right? Of course I didn't think about the wideness of the world, the chances of them liking me back or the defects that Jace has. For example, he's got his walls high up. Imagine a person like me - I consider myself very protective and cautious - meeting a person like him.

Cold, way out of my league, childish and reckless. I am reckless and childish already, I don't think we'd fit well.

city of bones, the mortal instruments, and clary fray image

The movie hadn't been released or even mentioned yet, so basically I had a completely different idea of Jace than the character portrayed in the movie. To me Jace was an intelligent, cynical, slightly dark character, not the romantic wanna be badboy that you can see in the movie.

I can't really tell when my crush died, because I'm not completely positive it has even died yet, eight years later. This ideal is still stuck in my head, even though I don't reject people because of it anymore.

lily collins, city of bones, and the mortal instruments image

So, I hope this article gave you a little bit of an insight into my messed up love life, if you can call it that way. I know I'm slightly behind on the whole writing challenge, but I REALLY AM TRYING! Please make sure to check out the previous entries to challenge and also to click on the link below if you want to take part on the 30 days writing challenge as well

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- Eli