There is always something that makes people feel particularly weak. Not the type of weak like seeing someone you like or when something's really funny. The type of weak when you feel like you've lost control of your own life, and you forget who you actually are and what your values are. Something that makes me particularly weak is my social life. Both online and in person. It's something that makes me feel the weakest and not in control.

I've cut many ties for the past few months. I stopped talking to some people, stopped pleasing them, stopped being active online where I can keep in touch with all my friends. This was all due to the fact that at a point in my life in the past few months, having friends or people I know in school made me feel weak.

My anxiety got really bad on Valentines Day. Yup, what a bad day to have a bad day. Something had gone wrong in the morning that had to do with social media. I was overthinking, the voice in my head louder than ever, I thought I was going to go insane. I cared so much of what other people thought, and I constantly tried to please people.

That is when I knew I had to cut away people who were toxic to me. People who brought me drama. Social media also created a lot of drama. My only getaway is in social medias that I have none of my real life friends in. I've created accounts on social media apps that I like, names and account @'s so people in real life wouldn't find me.

Even though I told myself that I must stop pleasing people, and making sure they're not mad at me. I can't control their emotions. But sometimes, I can't control mine either. That's what's scary. I want to learn not to give a shit and let things be. But is that possible?

Yes. That is possible. It's possible to not care about what other people say because it's your life to live. You're with you the most, so as long as you're happy with yourself, that's all that matters. Other people don't know your story. They don't know your good intentions, and they can't see the amount of effort you put in to your life, to make sure that the only thing you spread in the world, is positivity.

As soon as you run the extra mile, or put in your greatest effort, it doesn't matter what other people see or think, because you know it better than them, that you tried your best.

Now, I wake up every morning not thinking about the day before. I don't bother to immediately reply my messages because if people want to talk to me, they would in real life. I muted all my notifications for social media because I wouldn't want to see every single notification on my phone when I want to make an actual call to my mom.

It's important to know what your weakness is, and tackle it. The reward for trying your best is you being a happier person, to wake up in the morning and think, I wonder what good things will happen today.

I love you.