When somebody asked me what I am afraid of
I used to say spiders or snakes but it is not true.
It's loneliness.
That's what I am afraid the most.
I am horribly scared that everybody leave me and nobody will stay.
I am afraid that people who I love will be gone and I will not have a shoulders where I will be able to cry.
It scares me so much.
And that's why my heart is closed.
That's why I am hard to be loved and to love.
I wish I wouldn't have feelings.
I wish I wouldn't feel pain or when somebody break my heart.
You know, it is easier when you feel nothing.
You feel less broken then.
Actually, you don't feel anything.