Authours Note: Hey Everyone, I've decided to start this series of articles where I will be saying everything I wish I had said to the people who are/were in my life. Just letter to people that I haven't had the guts to say in person. Of course this will all be anonymous so there won't be any calling out people's names, that part will be kept under wraps. I know these articles will be confusing so if you don't want to read, that's completely fine. These are more just to get my feelings and thoughts down, just so my head won't be as crowded. But if you do enjoy them, then that’s a bonus.

Now, I'll stop my rambling. Here is the first part of my 'Yours Truly' series.

P.s This is going to be a long one.

Enjoy xx

Part 3/13

To Her,

I know you are busy with your new life and it pains me that I wasn't good enough to be part of it. Best friends are supposed to stick together no matter what, but you shut me out when we both needed each other most. I'll never know the specifics of why you did what you did because this new life you have doesn't have enough time for your old friend me.

There hasn't been a single day in the last 12 months that I haven't thought about you. I look around myself and realize that literally everyone has a best friend, and all I can say is that I had one... But not anymore. I can't even scroll through Instagram or Facebook, because I know I will see everyone tagging their best friends in photos and videos. It hurts to know that you are off at all these events with new people I don't know the names of and you probably don't spend a single darn second thinking about me.

When we met there was this instant connection, it felt like we had known each other for 10 years. We had all these similarities and honestly I knew I'd found my soulmate. I guess I wasn't yours because I don't think soulmates are supposed to leave each other behind.

When you left school to study I felt you slip through my fingers. I was in my last year of school and you were with much more important people than me. Our conversations and connection dwindled down, and eventually, I was the only one putting in any effort to save what little we had left of a 'friendship'.

The day before your birthday I made a plan of what I was going to do, although your uni friends beat me to it and completely put my idea to shame. They woke you up with cake, balloons and all your presents. I broke down in tears that day knowing I was a massive failure and that I'd never come close to all these new friends you had made.

In all honesty, when I met you I could finally breathe. I had just come out of being in a very toxic friendship and you saved me from the hole that was forming inside of me. And since you've left the hole has reestablished and now it is more dark and cruel than ever. I have cried myself to sleep so many nights wondering where I went wrong, I don't know what I did to lose you as a friend. I'm tired of the voice that's inside my head always telling me that no one will ever come close to how good we were as friends.

I know you've moved on and you don't care but all I want is my best friend back. I hate not having you in my life and I hate that I feel like I am not worthy of being loved from how you left me.

I am so sorry that I wasn't the person you had hoped for. I hope that you've found someone that you trust and love with all your heart. Thank-you for all the memories that we made together and I hope that one day you will call me and say that you are sorry too. Maybe one day you'll care as much as I did about you...

Yours truly,
Gone Girl.