hi! I'm so sorry its been a while. I've been so inspired to write an article lately, so here i am!
i wanted to state all the reasons you should never revisit an old love. As recently ( as of 10 minutes ago ) i had to make this decision. And heres why its possibly the worst idea in the world:

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1. The red flags that were there in the beginning are the same red flags that will cause your relationship to fail in the end.

Its like reading the same book twice and expecting a different ending. It won't happen. Unless a miracle happens. Heal and move forward from those previous issues, it is only a matter of time until those issues are triggered again.

2.People don't change.

Our nature, values, and principles generally stay the same throughout our entire lives. While our perspectives and life vision can shift, for the most part we have a core way of being that has been engrained through repetition, which makes it awfully hard to change, as we grow older.
We are a sum of our habits and our patterns have been reinforced through time. Changing those habits are possible, but it doesn’t happen overnight.

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3.You Have Chemistry But Not Compatibility

The chemistry has already been created, however in the past. This means the feelings you still have for them isn't the current feelings. I'ts all past. And that's when you need to learn to let the past go and seek new opportunities and people to surround yourself with.

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4.You had a good reason for letting him or her go.

You got together, gave it a try and it failed. Some people simply don’t work together. You may still have feelings for this person, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are not as compatible as you first imagined -- or that you may now be relapsing to imagine. If you let your ex go once, let him or her go forever.

5.You're both still carrying the baggage from your relationship.

Emotional baggage weighs down each of us. Thankfully, the suitcase becomes lighter as time goes on; older memories are whitewashed by new ones. The problem is, when you do decide to get back together with an ex, your baggage seems to start gaining weight... and quickly.

All those bad memories you had of fights, all those things that annoyed you about the person and all the things you did to hurt each other all come back. It doesn’t all come back at once, but in big waves. The fights start up again and a few long months later, you’re back where you started: broken.

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6.The trust you had has been shattered.

Trust is incredibly important in a relationship. It’s difficult to construct and even more difficult to put back together once the trust has been broken. Do you want to be in a relationship where the trust is lacking and you’re never 100 percent sure that your partner won’t turn and run from you?

7.Love is 50 percent mental, 50 percent physical and you’ve already made up your mind.

Love is not just physical; it’s not just about the chemistry. You have to decide to be in love in order to stay in love. It’s easy to do when everything else is just right, but much harder when things aren’t going so well. Breaking up is a big deal, especially when you once were in love with the person you broke up with. However, you made that difficult decision to end the relationship and now it’s time to stick with it. You can’t change your mind as easily as you’d like -- not for long anyway.

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8.There are so many other people out there.

The world may be getting smaller, but the amount of people and potential lovers is increasing. In other words, there are more and more people for you to potentially fall in love with, and it’s getting easier and easier to meet them. Don’t settle.

9. You have to learn to love.

Loving comes with a learning curve. There isn’t just one person out there for us, but there may very well be one combination of person, time and place. You have to be the right person, in the right place in your life in order to be able to love truly. Being capable of falling in love deeply and truly doesn’t just rely on the other person; it also relies heavily on you.

The only way to learn about love is to love. Loving new people will tell you more and more about yourself and how you love. After loving enough people, you’re bound to meet the right person. Right person, right place, right time, right you.

10. Decision. Forwards or Bacwards?

If you want a new, different, better life, don't go looking for it in your past. You weren’t the person you wanted to be back then and won’t be that person now if you start living in your past, rather than thinking about your future. Moving backwards will only increase the time it will take you to move forward.

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Of course, it’s not impossible to have a more successful go at a relationship the second time around. People do grow and sometimes it takes losing someone to realize what you had. If you are contemplating going back to your ex, I hope that this is the case for you. Just be mindful of the traps we too often make, causing us to continue relationship patterns that don’t serve us.

Thankyou so much for reading! these are the reasons i chose my decision to stay away. i hope you make this decision too! remember: your not alone ♡

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