Hi there!, I'm Anna, I'm 20 years old and I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder a year ago.
I did want to write my story 'cause I've been living with this without knowing till now, and it's been the hardest and difficult years for me as a teenager.
I know there must be someone out there who can be related to my story...

there is no start point for it, it just happened out of the sudden, you're nervous, thinking of all the possibilities and stressing out for anything, this is my daily life experiences.

Chapter 1
High School it's not always easy...

I've been suffering from what I think is depression since I quite know about myself, as a normal girl at her 12 years old, I did want to experience what I call the teenager lifestyle, I fall in love, I had friends, and want to be popular but at the same time I was worried about my decisions, this leads me to be perfectionist and also very outstanding, I was one of the best of the class, good at everything, I think so, but then I knew some people who take me out of that zone.

Let's start with the heart...

alternative, girlfriend, and indie image

my first love was the typical popular guy who was good at sport and all of that, I had a few frenemies and because of them rumors began, some girls began calling me slut, an easy one,ect; but they didn't know the truth about us ... so why I have to care what they said...,let me tell you that when you're in love you got totaly blind and you dont see the real person in front of you until they betrayed you, who I use to call my friends... start bullying me for had bigger boobs, others tried to bring me down to my height, but my world just felt down when the person I care the most start to talk to my back.

quotes, problem, and true image

My exboyfriend, told everyone about us and our personal lives, and when I mean personal, I mean our sexual encounters, so everyone was talking and looking at me as the little hooker, just for giving my heart to the wrong guy, he played with my feelings and all because of nothing.

heart, boy, and sad image
quotes, sad, and heart image

With all these things happening to me and not having anyone who I can speak to, I began to scratch my arm and legs with the sharpest part of a bobby pin, to release my pain; sometimes I scratched so hard that I made some bruises, I didn't want to eat and that was the begging of the killing thoughts...

aesthetic, sad, and self harm image

I sometimes felt ashamed of what I was becoming and with that my grades start to go down, teachers start to scold me a lot, my parents where disappoint because of my grades and that where they started comparing me to my older sister (12 years older than me), about how successful she was at school, about how many friends she had, a lot of bullshit to me.

depression and sad image

Currently, my mood changes and I had different facets in which I didn't want to hang out with other girls just because I didn't want to felt judge, or I began to be untrustful, I didn't want to talk to anybody

sad, shit, and quotes image

Few months after this embarrassing situation, I start a really beautiful friendship with a boy named Carlos, who became my BF and brother from another mother till now, later he introduced me to his friend, who became a support for me, at that point I opened myself to Carlos and talk about my situation, he just said "everything is gonna be ok, trust in God's willing". they were really supportive and that's when I get to know myself better and that's when I realized that I just need to have fun and release myself from these horrible feelings.

amour, girls, and hug image

when I introduce my group of friend to my parent, they felt that I was becoming a little bit tomboy and they enrolled me in dance classes, they "thought" that it was gonna help me to be more girly, I'm not gonna lie, it helps me out to be more socialise and release myself from killing thoughts (even though I didn't tell my parents about it). my grades got up, so I thought if anyone will talk about me, it's gonna be of how awesome I've become, and that none of them will bring me down anymore.

alternative, vintage, and girl image quotes, hard, and impossible image

that's when my brain thought...hey!! let the search for a new love...

Image by Freja Eriksson

support me with a heart and if you want to know more about my story leave a comment :D