Hello everyone!
I was thinking about what could I possibly write about and then this came to my mind. When I was younger, I remember keeping quiet a lot of times and not speaking what I was thinking because I know that my "friends" wouldn't like my opinion. I remember apologizing a lot because they would always act as if it was my fault. If something happened, they were always right and if I said something they would just not be my friends and I would have to be alone on every break we would have at school. I remember being really frustrated because they would always make me feel inferior and being 10 years old I wanted everything but to be alone in a huge school so I would just go with it. As I grew older, some things kept happening but since we were choosing different subjects and school paths I eventually stopped seeing those "friends" from my primary school. At a certain point, I met this amazing girl. I remember seeing her and thinking she was very cool and that she would never be friends with someone like me. But she proved me wrong. We became friends and she was the most supportive person in my life at the time. She would listen to what I had to say. She would count on my opinion. She would motivate me and support me in my passions. She helped me so much. We are still friends and it has been like almost 7 years of friendship and I couldn't be more thankful for her.
Along the way, I also made more friends. This two girls that are so supportive and so caring for me that I can't thank them enough for everything they have done for me. But of course, at the same time that these two girls came into my life, a lot of other people came too. I thought they were my friends but they weren't. They were only my colleagues. They were just people I knew. When this reality hit me I was a bit taken aback because I was like, I want to have friends, I don't want to feel excluded and so I was constantly trying to get approved by them and this is where things were wrong. After a little time, i stopped and started thinking. After I leave school will they be there for me? No, they won't. Do I actually need them? No, I don't. I don't need their approval to be happy; I don't need their presence to be happy. If I already have this group of loving and amazing friends that support me no matter what then why am I still worried about the others?This was the moment that I felt a lot of weight being lifted off my shoulders. I need to start making things for me because of me because I know that my real friends will be there for me no matter what. After so many years of struggle, I can finally feel that I am starting to find myself and I can finally be myself without being afraid of what others may think.
I know it is hard to cut people out of your life but trust me, as soon as you do it you will feel so much happier and free. Let yourself show its true colors and don't be afraid of rejection because the ones who really care will stick with you!