Sometimes we can’t help our emotions. They just spill out like flood, and a lot of the times we unknowingly take it out on other people, whether it be a positive emotion that radiates off us like rays of sunshine, or gloomy clouds that rain over others, or balls of fire that come unexpectedly on others.

Unfortunately, it’s one of those nights where I feel like throwing a chair to the wall, and this post is a somewhat self reflection for myself and how I deal with the demon within we call anger.

I used to be really bad at suppressing my anger, and I’ll be honest, I probably still am. I’d take it out on others, my parents included. It could be in a way that I snap back at them, or I’d just put on a face that says I am absolutely done with everything and I don’t want anything to do with them. On most occasions, this results in them snapping back at me (them being my parents — my friends usually couldn’t care less, which I guess could be a good thing on one side?)

I’ll say, though, I really have learned my lesson from those numerous occasions where my parents would get mad at me for being mad (that really does sound ridiculous, doesn’t it?) I’ve escaped from the countless muttering under my breath or slamming of the door (and other various things such as eating utensils or anything I can find within my proximity).

Being a girl who’s gone through puberty, though, I can’t just use my female card to get away with things anymore. I used to be able to say, “Oh, sorry, I’m on my period” to get away with my anger issues. Nowadays, my parents just verbally rip the card away from me.

As time passes on, I’ve found some ways to manage my anger. It’s still painful to suppress it, to not be able to just spurt it out as much as I want to, but it’s worth it when no one is yelling back at you or when no one understands why you’re angry.

1. Shout it all in your head

Just do it. Shout everything you’re angry about in your head. Try to hold in the facial expressions that my come, though, because it really can show. Honestly, it’s not the most satisfying way to take care of your anger, but it’s better than nothing (and especially better than actually shouting it out loud).

2. Focus on the music

Lock yourself in your room, blast some music through your speakers and just focus on the music. Preferably play something upbeat that really gets your juices going and just focus on it, even if something is going off in the background. Focus on the lyrics, on the beat of the song. Maybe play an angry song and just jump and dance around to it, sing it loudly. Just focus on nothing but the music.

3. Take deep breaths

The most important thing is to calm yourself by taking deep breaths. Inhale, count to eight, and exhale. Keep repeating that until you feel like you’re gonna be okay, because let’s face it: it is. This anger will wash away like waves in the night ocean, and though it may come back in the day, what’s most important is that you know how to handle it the right way.

Here’s to keeping it cool as much as you want to rip someone’s hand off.