I can still remember that day like it was happening just as I write this. It was raining all day off and on. It felt like the whole world was dark. Almost as if it was mourning for what I was about to do. I started pushing my friends away that day. My thoughts were "well I don't want to hurt them more so I'll just push them away and not talk to them anymore." You know if I didn't have any friends it would make this a lot easier to do. My brain was going to explode. It felt like there were a million knifes being stabbed into my head all at once and i had no way of pulling them out. It was when I got home from school when those familiar thoughts came rushing back into my head. They were like a shark on the hunt for their kill. I knew they were here to stay this time. I was scared and terrified. I didn't want these thoughts in my head but there was only one way to make them go away. I went to my room. The tears finally coming. I looked myself in the mirror, my eyes, normally blue, were now as red as blood. My short brown hair the was the mess it always was. I didn't like what I saw. I went to my backpack grabbed my green notebook and opened to a random page that read:

I don't want to say this,
But I'm losing this battle,
I'm too tired to keep fighting.
But too scared to give in.
I want to be the champion,
But my heart and mind are tired.
Tired of fighting this war,
That never seems to end.

Ironic isn't it. I gathered up a few things that I had already prepared and put my letters into envelopes. I put on my nicest clothes and straightened up my room a little. I went to the bathroom and found my truest friend. How sweet of a goodbye it was to feel the cold metal scrape against my skin, than see the crimson that follows. I took half of a bottle of pills went to my bed and laid down. I starred at my ceiling thinking about the people that I had met so far, mostly about my mom. I let out one last "I'm sorry momma." I closed my eyes and all I remembered was darkness.