Today I wanted to talk about you.
But I couldn't.
A few weeks ago I felt free.
I was able to say your name without bursting into tears.
I wanted to tell them that I am strong.
I was so proud.
But I couldn't.
The minute I felt pride, I broke.
I felt terrible for being proud,
I felt terrible for being able to say your name without tears.
I don't want to forget about you, Maya.
I don't think I can.
But the idea of moving on without you being here, it's killing me.
I can't tell people that, they won't understand.
They won't understand how afwul I felt when I realised I was becoming older than you'll ever be.
I just miss you and that scares the crap out of me...