I read once that there is always something left unsaid between two people. And there is so much I wish I could say to you. So much I say to other people that I pretend someway somehow you will find out and hear about it and return the feelings I have. I love you with every beating breath I take I love you. I have never fathomed just how much I actually love you. I have loved you from your short hair to Long hair to short hair to glasses to no glasses I love you. No matter what I try, no matter what I do I keep thinking about us. And feelings are fed on memories, and I'm not stupid I know you don't feel this way, I know it must be all in my head right? I keep trying to tell myself I'm good enough for you, I know I'm not. I keep wanting to be that girl you look at when you play hockey or soccer and I wanna be the girl that can kiss you whenever because I can. I wanna be together again. But can we ever be together again? Can we ever go from loving to hating to friendship then back to love? Have we changed to much for that,I think we must of. Yet your opinion still matters most to me, I wanna be the girl you can like and not be ashamed of. But I know this is impossible. I know I can't change who we both are and that maybe if time was different I could. But time isn't different and I'm stuck looking at you and thinking "what if". I've come so close to just straight up telling you that if it wasn't for the sheer embarrassment I knew I would feel if I told you and you didn't feel it back, I would of said it by now. But then there are other people in the mix, people who could get hurt, people like parents who wouldn't approve. People we would have to fight to be together and I don't think we were ever good at fighting on the same side. Maybe that's the problem with us, maybe we loved each other so much we never knew how to just work together, there was to much passion, and to much emotion that we could never just be-together. I'm not sure if anything was ever clear between us. The last time we were together we cheated on our boyfriend/girlfriends but that was the best memory I have. And I was convinced after that, that we were set. Then you ignored me, all summer. You read my messages and didn't respond. You had me racking my head for every thing that could of possibly went wrong. And then I made the mistake of telling my friends. I had to, I had to let them know it was true, it was the only way I could keep us alive. And then you texted me, I was so excited, yet it was to help with her. I helped because that's who I am I wanted you to be happy and she was making you happy. But then I have no idea what happened you stopped talking to me because of something I did, and to this day I don't know what it was, you said horrible things to me things that really hurt me, and you knew it. Why? Why would you do that. I tried to hate you I really did for a while, it actually worked. We haven't had a sensible conversation since then. I would go on Facebook and see if you still had me blocked, you have no idea how many times I tried to add you as a friend on sc. Now that she's not in the picture anymore I find it hard not stare at you every day. But, now you have someone sweet and gorgeous who is much better better then me but I still fantasize of all the things we could do if we were together. I think of grad? And I think if I don't go with you I'll never enjoy it as much. I think of a future and I still see you. I catch you looking at me in class sometimes, and you look away when I look back. That makes me excited but of course, I know it's all in my head. I know you don't return these feelings and I know that your gonna hurt me again like all the times you have before. I just wish for once, time and love could work together for us. I just wanna know if we can do it, or if this is a lost cause. I just wish that everyday I could wake up and feel stronger without you, and not wake up in the middle of the night wishing my dream was real life. Out of all the things that are left unsaid between us the one thing I wish I could tell you is that I love you. And maybe one day in the future, you'll wanna tell me that too.