After posting two introducing articles about music and cities I want to write about something more personal.I can't really explain my feelings,but I will try to.

boy, grunge, and pale image harry potter and hogwarts image

So there is this boy I was on a school trip with.He's tall, he has natural beauty and he is mysterious some how. Not the playboy kind, but also not the cutie. He has something of a charming prince and at the same time he is just the soccer boy from school. The only time I really got the opportunity to speak to him was when we chilled outside the hotel rooms with another schoolmate.We talked about almost everything. I admit I had a great time that night. We didn't do anything, just sat there and talked till 3 am. I can't tell when I started liking him. I am the type of person who doesn't believe in something like love, but I feel attracted to him. When I don't see him in school, I ask myself whether he is ill or not, what does he do, but at the same time I don't care about him. I care that I want to. Weird, in't it? It feels like I am more interested in this feeling, longing for him, than in himself. I started to ask myself "Do you like him or do you like the feeling of watching him from afar?" And there is no answer.
I do understand that it's just my problem because I obviously have no chance to text him, even less to talk to him. I am afraid he will block me. Moreover, I don't know him. It takes more than half of a night to get to know someone. My friend says that people get to know each other when they try to keep in touch, but if it's a one side thing there is no chance and I totally agree. Like... HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO LIKE A PERSON I DON'T REALLY KNOW???
I like the memory. I like thinking about the conversation. I like my first impression of him, but I don't really want to do anything to get more than just this. It's so complicated although I know that I just need more time. I need time to make myself realize there's nothing I can even fight for. Somehow it's hopeless. It's like you're eating kilos of chocolate, but you know that your health is suffering, but you can't stop and also you know you're going to reach the limit.
The only thing I like about the situation is that he will never know that I like or liked him. Never. This makes it easier, I guess.

quote, text, and Easy image

This article doesn't really make sense, but this shit needed to be written down somewhere. I couldn't keep it anymore. It complicated for me and that's why I had no other way of expressing my feelings. But still thank you if you read it until here.