There is a lot to read, if you get through it all, thank you for your dedication :P ♥

This article is directed at people who are stuck, the people hearting quotes about being numb and empty inside, who feel like they're sinking. That was me, and I want to try and help people out of that, because I managed to get out of that.

Understanding that those negative thoughts aren't true

You are probably your own worst enemy, even if there are people around you who are unkind and damaging your self-esteem, you are the one accepting what they say as truth. You're a victim of your own mind, at night after a difficult day, you shouldn't trust your negative thinking.

Only trust the comments of those who are sincerely trying to help you. (I'm not saying to trust only the people who say good things, because constructive criticism is a form of support, even if it can get you down.) The people who don't know you well, the people who don't want to know you well, the people who don't care about your wellbeing - don't listen to them. The important point I'm trying to make is that sometimes that person is you.

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We can be waay too hard on ourselves and focus just on the negative, if you don't love yourself and can't be trusted to say anything kind to yourself, to look after yourself, then you should not trust those negative thoughts to be true. If you're focusing on the problem and not the solution, then yeah, you're part of the problem.

"An entire sea of water can't sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship."
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You can't remember the last time you looked forward to your future

"What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet."

No matter what your age is, you have something to look forward to, even if you don't know about it yet, it's there, waiting for you. Just a single moment can make your day, make your month, make your year - you can't predict these things, so you can't say that they'll never happen.

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Also, your happiness doesn't depend solely on your education, career, income, friends, family, etc. Happiness can come from the small simple pleasures of life, you don't have to live without any problems to be happy!

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For example:
The dew on the grass under the rising sun at dawn as you hear the first waking bird sing, the homely smell of your breakfast (mmn~ buttered toast ♥), reading your favourite books, watching your favourite films, there are so many sources of happiness. You don't have to depend on other people to be happy, you can make your own happiness by taking the time to do and appreciate whatever makes you happy.

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So you have a problem? Listen to these cuties:

The problem may not be solved, but while you're getting your solutions in motion, make sure to allow yourself time to be happy and enjoy your hobbies. ♥

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If your excuse is "Nothing makes me happy"
99 Things That Bring Me Joy is a guided journal by Abrams Noterie (Author) and Hiroko Yoshimoto (Illustrator) that takes you back to all your favourite things, reminding you to revisit some of them and remember all your good memories and how worth while your life has been thus far. ♥ If you don't want to buy the journal, start writing your own list of things you want to do that make you happy~

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Opening up about your problems

my main advice to you:
1) DO IT
"But..."
2) NO BUTS, DO IT
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No matter how low your confidence is, no matter how high your walls have been made by that, you gotta do it. Learning to run from what you feel and ignoring it, bottling up your feelings, trying to cope with everything alone - is not a solution, not healthy! You're going to reach a breaking point, it's inevitable, there is nothing to be ashamed of when you need help.

The longer you stay quiet, the worse things are going to get, I would know because my problem led me to more problems because I refused to stop bottling up my feelings. Don't let your fear or pride keep you in a place you don't want to be. (You are not a tree if you don't like where you are, move!)

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so you can be yourself again ♥

You might sometimes think you want to hide away in your room all day or even have suicidal thoughts, but I bet while you may say you want to disappear and run away, I bet deep down all you really want is to be found, to be helped.

Sometimes you have to go out and find that help yourself, talk to a loved one, a person of support, call a professional. Think: what would you ask for, if you knew the answer was "Yes"? Don't think about "No", have courage, know that if you need to ask for help, someone will be there for you. Being afraid of things going wrong isn't the way to make things go right.

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I remember when I broke down with my mum, the saddest thing was that I kept apologising while crying because I couldn't go into school and because she chose to take time off work to look after me. I should not, and you should not apologise for having problems, or for receiving help. You are taking the first steps to solving your problems, that is excellent!

Everyone deserves help when they can't hold out by themselves anymore (that doesn't mean you wait until you break down before asking for help ¬ - ¬), don't feel bad about it. Also, don't feel embarrassed about your problem, everyone is different, what people find difficult or hurtful, it's all different! ♥

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It can be scary

"For a seed to achieve it's greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction." - Cynthia Occelli

Like I said, I broke down with my mum, and I broke down again numerous times during councelling. This may seem like a bad change to your life, scary even, but it's neccessary so that you can make repairs and rebuild yourself off of a clean slate. To be honest about your feelings, what has hurt you, the things you were ashamed of, embarrassed of, dismissing as unimportant, to admit these things does make you vulnerable. But that vulnerability and honesty results in an immediate wave of relief as help comes to you straight away, what you were scared of doesn't happen, you are met with support and love. It is all so very worth it~ ♥

Your loved ones

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Somebody loves you, be it a friend, be it, family, be it a romantic partner. If they love you, they will want to support you, want to help you, want you to feel loved. Your problems are not a bother, nor a burden to them, they are most of all important. They will be sad to know that you feel unable to talk to them, trust them, trust their desire to help you, they love you.♥

My Problem:

Something that stopped me from opening up to my mum was that I often made her angry when I was sad. This happened because I get defensive and snappy about my problems, especially when people start suggesting solutions that don't help or start talking about their experiences that don't relate to my problem. Also, she felt frustration because she was trying to help me but there was a lot of miscommunication and it backfired sometimes.

My solution:

I explained myself to her - that I get defensive, that her way of comforting me didn't work and after watching the video below, I was able to suggest how she could comfort me. She talked less, listened more and hugged me more - the comfort I needed that allowed me to open up more easily. ♥ Don't be afraid to tell people what you need.

(the different ways of comforting people)
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Out of my darkest state

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When I was at my lowest point, I made a promise to my mum, a promise to stay alive. From that point on I lived for her, tried to be happy for her, tried to fix my problems for her. At the time I didn't love myself at all, but I loved her, and that was where the solution to my problems lied. I have improved tremendously since then, and can honestly say that I am lving for myself and am happy with the person I am becoming~

So even if you don't love youself, that is not the end of that, someone wants you to live, and that is enough - more than enough. Know the kindness you show to others and know that you deserve the same. ♥

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Smaller mood slumps

Oh this happens to me a lot so randomly, it really annoys me when I wake up and for some reason just cannot get myself up and at 'em emotionally or feel anxious for no reason. But, don't beat yourself up about it, one of the most valuable things my counsellor taught me was to feel positive about feeling negative.

Just try and get on with your day as best you can, try to surround yourself with positivity, but don't force it, don't force yourself to be happy, especially not for other people. This part isn't a "getting out of sadness" help, but y'know it's okay to not always be 100% - try not to get angry at yourself about it, it won't help, have patience and nurture yourself.

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A little happiness, a bit at a time

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For me, this was going out to eat and to shop with my mum at first. ♥ This was watching films, cartoons, youtube videos, reading manga, webcomics, baking. If you enjoy it, even the tiniest tiny bit, do it. While I was teaching myself to believe that I deserved to be happy, I also started to trust that I could be helped and that I deserved help. So I got counselling~

Then in 6th form, I had troubles again, I got counselling again, and then at the end of 6th form went on a gap year. I spent my gap year once again allowing myself to take the time to relax, enjoy the things I felt too stressed out to while studying. Diving into my hobbies and just appreciating those simple pleasures are really what restored me after all the troubles I had and after I finished my counselling.

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The rest of the article will be pictures of hobbies and simple pleasures ♥ enjoy! (Pascal Campion and Yaoyao Ma Van As have lots of art on this ^.^)

Thank you to~

flawless
flawless
@palekingsandprinces  
alyse
alyse
@washyyy  
sarai_albuja
sarai_albuja
@sarai_albuja  
Asya
Asya
@Sissy_m  

for the messages you sent me supporting my articles. You guys really made me smile. ♥

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Much love ♥
Whimsy