8. Share something you struggle with.

This is a kind of very personal article and, probably, triggering. So if you struggle with PTSD or you get easily triggered, please stop reading right now.
On the other hand, if you need someone to talk to, my messages are always open. You can also write to me on Telegram (@lisahorrorx) if you need to.

Post traumatic stress disorder

disorder, stress, and post traumatic image

Post traumatic stress disorder is a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world.

This is the standard definition that you can find on the internet, but today I'd like to be more... personal.
What is ptsd for me?

My trauma occurred three years ago, when I was sixteen. It was my first date with a guy I met in a club and it didn't go exactly as I expected. Long story short, I was raped.
I can't really talk about what happened, the trauma is still too strong, so I won't go into the details of it.

At first I dealt with it in the worst ways. My escapes were alcool and drugs, which, later on, I learned that can amplify many of the ptsd symptoms. When I stopped with those unhealthy coping mechanism, my only escape became music.

I still have problems today, very big problems with it. I flinch everytime someone touches me, especially if it's someone I don't know too well or I don't trust. Sometimes the mere thought of having sex repulse me, making me throw up.
I have nightmares, sometimes even allucinations if I have a severe lack of sleep.

PTSD is not something to be taken lightly (just like any other mental illness), because it destroys one's life.
It can make you feel guilty, sad or angry without any good explanation. It can make you lose your appetite (or make you eat a lot, it depends) as well as for sleep.
It's something that reminds you that you survived a traumatic event and, some days, you wish you didn't.