I have a bad habit that's definitely not good for me at all. No, it's not smoking nor drinking, it's Instagram.

I love how I can express myself there. I love to see what my friends are doing. I love to look through my old posts, as they contain so many memories. What I dislike, is how the social platform makes me feel. As many of you know, there's been research on Instagram causing anxiety, depression and fomo (fear of missing out). I have felt all these things.

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It's funny how being connected 24/7 can make you feel so lonely. Seeing people share their life - even though we all know people share only their best moments - makes you feel inadequate and unhappy. I'm happy for my friends' success, but I keep comparing myself to them. All the time.

The other problem with the platform is that it keeps setting unrealistic expectations for me. I feel so adequate, when I see pictures of all these beautiful girls and my pictures look nothing like theirs. The app has poisoned my mind: I can't feel beautiful if I'm not like them. It's so ridiculous.

I did my makeup today and curled my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror and got sad. I did everything I could but was still ugly. UGLY. Even I know that it wasn't the truth but that's how I felt. As I spend lots of time looking at other people's photos, my feed has become the top priority in my life. My life can't be perfect, if my feed isn't.

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Later today I was at a café sipping my drink and looking out of the window. As I watched the by passers, I remembered how everything could be worse. So many things could be wrong, when everything's so good right now. It's so cliché, yet true.

So, what's my solution? I don't know. What I do know is that it's fucking useless to feel anxiety about something that's not true. For now, I'll try not to open the app too often. I'll remind myself about this and come back read this post again. I must, since anxiety is so not my style.