Being at the age of 23 I do my best to keep up with the news and stay educated on the outside world while in college. But everyday it seems like the world gets worse and nothing can be fixed. I sit here in my bedroom wondering "Why is the world like this? Ware humans so power hungry? Why can't people admit mistakes and fix them? Why is it we are going backwards as a species and not forward? It scares me if I'm honest. It breaks my heart watching the world burn knowing that there is nothing that I can do about any of it. It all reminds me of how short life is and how I will never be able to reach my dreams.

The world ends up making my depression so much worse. I'm not happy with myself and then I feel even worse sitting here watching the world tear each another apart knowing I'm useless. No one will listen to me. I can't make a difference so why am I even alive? Why was I born? To just sit here and play video games alone the rest of my life until we go to war or kill our own earth? I don't know the answer. I don't know what to do. I'm only a few classes away from finishing college but what do I do then? Will I really help anyone or will I just put a bullet in my head before the world burns itself to the ground!?

I'm sitting here crying over seeing people die, being oppressed and hated on while thinking back to one of my favorite games called Horizon Zero Dawn. My mind goes to that game because of how it is as a game. I'm more content living my life through video games then facing the real world because the real world harsh and painful. I don't belong there or anywhere, a man stuck in a women's body. Who could actually love me. In the end none of this makes sense but it's better to write into a void that doesn't know me then letting it bubble up inside and rot away inside me. I go by Richard.