National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. To all my beautiful girls/guys out their battling with recovering from an eating disorder, you got this! The ones who have recovered, I'm proud of you!

This Is My Story:
A boy. He's the reason I started eating less. As if being thinner would make him love me more. It was a toxic relationship. He didn't want to tell his friends about me... So I thought maybe if I was prettier? The media told me " Skinny is Pretty"... I counted my calories. I went from eating 2,000 calories a day to eating 1,200 calories a day. Nothing more than 1,200. If I did... I would make sure the next day I'd eat less. Some days I would eat even less. Those days I felt my best. It felt like an accomplishment. Even the healthy foods. I deprived myself of everything. I didn't want to gain weight. I dropped the weight... 150 ... 140...130...120. I still felt fat... and he still didn't show me off. He left me. I was 120 pounds and lost my period. I was diagnosed with secondary amenorrhea. It isn't deadly, it just means that since I lost weight really quickly I lost my period. It was a possibility it would never come back but it did once I started my recovery.

My Recovery Process:
When my family found out that I was starving myself, they immediately begged me to eat. I started to eat more. Yet it was so hard to eat some a burger or a slice of pizza. I would get a panic attack because I still feared I would gain weight. Through these past 2 years of recovery, I can now eat it yet sometimes I still fear gaining weight. My physical health has improved. I am still working on my mental health. My fiancé shows me off, loves me for me. He thinks I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. He helps me not relapse and always makes sure that I am eating.