Well, looks like it has happened once again. I have fallen yet again for someone. I don't know if I am ready for this if I'm being completely honest. Am I ready to go through another heartbreak once again? I don't know if I'm ready for all the lonely nights, where I cry myself to sleep. Where I blame myself for everything that has happened. The nights where I think to myself that the only option for this feeling to go away is if I just...no I can not go back to that.

Maybe I am overthinking this and I am not fully aware of my feelings. I mean how could I fall for someone the way I fell for...him. I am in a way happy that it has happened, but at the same I just wanna scream at the top of my lungs that this is not okay. That I am not okay with me feeling this way towards this person.

I keep craving him, yet he is so unaware of my existence. I keep having these constant dreams with him in it. I wish this was all lies, but everything is true. I just don't know what to do anymore. I hope that by the end of this I end up happy, WITH OR WITHOUT HIM.