Another dream, I should not be surprised at this point.
I find it interesting, out of all the people who have done me wrong, I keep having nightmares about you. I would not even classify the dreams as nightmares except for the fact that they make me so sad.
In my dream, I told you I hated you! I invited people over to hangout, so I was confused to why you even showed up since you and I had not talked in a long time. When we were alone, I yelled at you, "why did you even come? you didn't have to." Was it guilt that brought you here? Or pure curiosity to see how I was doing. You didn't respond. Instead, you looked at me with one of those expressions you do so well. A look of nonchalance, and smug arrogance. I hate you.
I starting hitting you. You laughed as you always did when I tried to fight you. I kept hitting you and sometimes your smile from laughing would be replaced by a grimace, but I think we both knew I was holding back.
You didn't really talk in my dream and that scares me. Am I forgetting your voice? I just realized the day might come when I forget what your voice sounds like. One by one the details of you will be forgotten and that terrifies me.
"I hate you," I wailed. But no... I love you! I love you! I love you and it's shit. Everything about this is shit. You are shit. You are a terrible person and I shouldn't love you. You don't care about anything or anyone but that didn't stop me from loving you. Nothing would have.
I hate you.

Sorry, sometimes I just want there to be proof that I felt this. I like to look back on my writing and see how much I have changed.
Song of the week, Bluecid by Sevdaliza.