February 26, 2018

yesterday morning i finally did it.

I don't understand how a person can change so drastically. over the span of a month, you turned into a completely different person. when we first started talking, you were completely infatuated with me (an di with you), keeping me on my toes and making my heart race every time i saw your face. just seeing your name on my screen would make me smile like an idiot. i was head over heels for you.

you were tender. kind, understanding, thoughtful, and considerate.

you expressed your affection; you were genuinely yourself.

you were so supportive of me and you showed me how much you genuinely cared for me. and with the blink of an eye, that guy was gone! i don't recognize this new person you've become.
you're the first person i'd every opened myself up to and i'd let myself become vulnerable... for you.

i trusted you so fucking much with my heart, but daaaamn you let me down.

you became completely uninterested, distant, and dismissive.

next thing i knew, i was thinking about you every second of the day wondering what what was wrong with me- meanwhile, I obviously never crossed your mind. day and night, you were on my mind, so i'd text you, but you would read it and not reply.

other things became your priority, and i understand that, but it's impossible that school and ball took up ABSOLUTELY ALL OF YOUR TIME. it's obvious to me exactly what you were doing. you were distancing yourself from me.

If you didn't wanna talk to me anymore; if you didn't want me in your life anymore; you should've just told me. instead, you came up with stupid excuses.

i think you expect my to keep up with your excuses and apologies, but i can't sit around letting you hurt me any longer. you legit ignore me for days at a time and come up with the same apology in different words every time. i'm not gonna sit still and wait until your ready to put your big boy pants on.

knowing and seeing that someone you like suddenly doesn't want to talk to you,... that hurts.

i admire your dedication, drive, and your desire for success, but success IS NOT where you find happiness. i guess the saddest part is that you really just don't know that.

in the end, it became unreciprocated love and it was the fucking worst.

that's my reason. that's why i deleted you out of my life. because i saw you read it at 6:36 and then again at 11:47. and that's complete fine, but i know my worth and i know my value. i wont let you make me question it any longer.

you had your chance to love me, but you decided to leave me instead.