i always hear things about people having a fear of rejection. although i have that fear towards some aspects of my life, it isn't a problem for me when it comes to having friends.

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i have no problem kind of putting myself out there and making myself almost "available" in a way to become someone's friend. i'll be the person to say hi to you first. i'll smile and wave. i'll introduce myself. i initiate the friendship because at the end of the day i feel like if they decide that they don't want to be my friend that's their decision, and i don't really need them in my life right now anyway. it's not like we have some special bond yet, our entire relationship is based on potential because we haven't established anything yet.

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today i met a few genuinely good people and that really makes me warm inside because being online schooled, its hard to be social if you aren't doing all these activities away from your house (sports, theatre, etc.). i've lost touch with a few people i considered to be my closer friends and that hurts that its so easy to lose contact with such significant people.

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anyway as i usually do, i was the one that kind of initiated the friendship but by the end of this school thing we were doing i had them laughing and they were significantly more comfortable with me than in the beginning. i could've decided to just stay quiet and listen to their conversations but instead i inputted myself into their equation and actually started a few friendships. that's an amazing feeling.

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