“She was the girl who told everyone to be strong but she couldn’t tell herself that. She was the girl who smiled so brightly in the day but cried endlessly in the night. She was the girl who could love so deeply but couldn’t love herself the way she loved me. She was the girl who was good at hiding her battle scars, her tear-stained cheeks and her war of thoughts. She was the girl who fought hard at life but couldn’t fight off the demons in her head. She was the girl who pretends to be strong in front of everyone but ends up breaking down once she’s all alone. She was the girl who had a passion for art but struggled sometimes to hold the paintbrush properly. She was the girl who was physically strong but struggled to keep herself alive. She was the best thing that ever happened to me but I was an idiot for losing her. She was my safety and my warmth. Now, I feel like I’m in danger and fighting off the cold. She was there for me no matter how busy or stressed she was but I couldn’t be there for her when all she asked from me, was my time, attention and affection. She was there to wipe away my tears and she was a shoulder I could cry on but when she needed me that time she was super depressed, I was comforting and telling her, “It’s going to be okay”, but that was it. She needed more than that but I gave her less of what she deserved. Right now, it’s 3 AM and my emotions are messing with me. My thoughts are everywhere but she’s no longer here. Her smell is on my sheets but her presence is ten thousand deep below me. She’s gone and it’s all my fault. I wasn’t there for her and I was too dumb to even sense the signs. Empty bottles on my dirty bedroom floor, scattered and some are even shattered but one thing that is truly shattered, is my heart. The bed feels empty without her warmth. My room sounds depressing without her laughs and her voice. God, her voice was keeping me alive. Now, I’m just breathing but barely even living. I was too late. When I broke down her bedroom door, there I stood with a pale and shocked face. Her tiny figure laying down the floor, so stiff and so still. For a second, I thought she was sleeping but when I saw the pills scattered everywhere, my assumption was completely the opposite. I stood there like I was paralyzed – my feet glued to the wooden floor and my heart was beating so rapidly. I wanted to scream her name a billion times for her to wake up or someone to wake me up thinking that it’s was all just a nightmare but I had to face the bitter truth. My love, the only one, was gone. Gone. She was the girl who made me genuinely happy like she was showering me with so much happiness but little did I know, every night, she was drowning herself from her own sadness. She made feel like I was enough but now, as I think more about it, I wasn’t enough to save her. If I was enough, she would still be here with me. I miss how arms would wrap around my torso. I miss how her lips would softly touch my skin. I miss the way she treated me like I was something so valuable and precious. It’s been a year since it happened. Everywhere I go, everything that I do, it all reminds me of her. She was and will always be a part of my life. Dear readers, if you truly love someone, do everything that you can to keep that person with you. You don’t want to end up like me.” – the guy who lost everything