(grunge was the first thing i could think of for the picture lol sorry)

my mind is fully clouded, but without the sun. the clouds that are filled in my mind are the ones that bring big storms, and that most of us learn to hate until we live with it.

i hate myself, there is no denying it. i look in the mirror and it seems as if all i can see are my flaws, the flaws that i do not like. i cry for hours on end hoping for that all the acne that covers my face disappears. i hope that i can finally be as smart as everyone thinks i am because the pressure is too much to handle. i work my hardest to be as fast as i can because not being first on the track field ruins my mind even if my legs are begging me to stop.

my mind has wired me to only feel sadness, anger, desperation, i can never think of a day i was truly happy since september 2017. it doesn’t seem that long for me, but at the same time it does. i just want to feel happiness again. but my mind is so wired to feel such emotions against it.

i have made myself where i have no one to rely on because i feel like everyone will turn against me. so many people have taught me to shut my mouth. nobody cares, nobody wants to hear it. so many people have taught me that i’m nothing but a failure. so i keep my mouth and try to stray away.

i would do anything for my mind to have the sun back together, but it only seems that i have been filled with storm clouds.

(sorry i just needed to get this off my chest)