day 2 of;

i am sorry i've read the description of this day as "something someone told me that i will never forget" so thats what i wrote, hope you dont mind :) i also think this is the better version of what would i wrote on that one. so yeah

i remember the first time i've heard a boy saying "i love you" to me. it wasnt that long ago, but i think that i will forever remember this moment.

we were sitting in his room. side by side. he was whispering some calming words to me, his dog running around us, him telling it to sit down and stay. he hugged me tightly. i dont know what came to me that day. it was a mess.

i decided to go home. i didnt feel good and i didnt want to fuck up his mood only because i was in a weird place that evening.

he walked me home. than he hugged me once again and when i said "thank you for being here with me," he just looked at me in the eye and told me "i could say something right now."

i didnt understand what he meant. i still dont know if it was because i had a mess in my head or because it simply didnt make any sense, but when i asked him what could he say, he just simply smiled and said it.

"i love you."

i remember how happy i was to hear these words. he meant the world to me and those words did too.

but for him, it all meant nothing.

how did it feel to lie for a 3 months straight?
how did it feel to have girl wrapped around your fucking finger?

did he imagine her everytime he hugged me? did he imagine her everytime we kissed? everytime he touched me?

maybe he did.

but because of it, these words mean nothing now.
just lies.

i am mad at myself that i will never forget those lies.

but you know what?

maybe i moved on.

or maybe it was the

"i know that someone hurt you. that someone has broken your heart. but remember that that boy doesnt define your worth; only God does."

that is going to live in my memory forever, because it made me move on from this relationship.

or the "you look beautiful without makeup" followed with his shy smile, that made me think better about myself a week after my first breakup, when i didnt have mood to put on any makeup and fake smile either.

and i cant forget about
"dont thank me. remember." from my best friend that she sayes to me everytime i thank her for being here with me.

she told me to remember.

so i do.

and you know what?

everytime i think about that first "i love you", i dont feel pain anymore.

because than i remember all the other stuff ive heard and i realize that that "i love you" doesnt have weight in my life anymore.

because i am worth way more than this and i have friends to remember and i am beautiful even when i dont think that i am.

and these are the things someone told me and i will never forget.

Superthumb beautiful