I've been scared for way too long but the worst thing is that i convinced myself that i wasn't afraid of anything. I could cross the road without looking, put my hand above fire and swim till where my feet wouldn't touch the sand anymore and my lungs filled themselves with salty water. I could take every risk put myself in every danger because i thought that i was fearless, thruth be told i was anything but. I thought i was brave while i was playing daredevil, i convinced myself that it was the right thing to do to throw all caution to the wind in my hurry to throw away the things that "held" me back i also threw away the very thing that held me together because i was scared to be burned again. So that's without caution that i dived head first into the desintegration of my person, the very thing i threw away was the one i needed the most. I threw away this unbreakable faith in myself that i carried with me for so long. I threw it away because of the looks and the comments that made me doubt myself. I threw away a part of me and acted like i remained the same.
But i didn't and i realized too late that what used to make me so brave was this stubborn confidence i had in myself. With time i just became the girl who pretended, the girl who confused suicidal tendencies and bravery. And the truth is i've been scared shitless, scared of making the first step, scared of letting my guard down, scared of not counting and even scared of myself. I didn't care anymore but i cared too much and i didn't stop till i hit my limit, till i crashed through rock bottom like a comete hitting earth. I was so broken that you couldn't put me together anymore, i could no longer be the scarecrow of a girl that i became. I had no choice it was either crawling into a fetal position and hoping to die fast or get up facing my fears and be done with this crap.
Guess what i chose