Sometimes I lay on my room floor and blast music. It is usually indie but could be emo, alternative, or anything. I try to escape this world but nothing ever seems to work. I have a dog, a golden retriever, that I love very much who lays by me. I try to find sense in this world. Why are we here? We are here for reproduction. Why can't I feel love? I am too young. Why do I care if I have friends or not? Because I want someone to watch the stars with and hangout with and talk about life and drive around in my shitty ass car. Sometimes I think I mess things up. I do online school mostly because everyone at my high-school hated me. I pushed people away and found new friends. Then I pushed them away. Everyone I meet uses me. All my "friends" even admit to it. So why am I on this earth if everyone hates me? reproduction. I can never find a guy or a girl I am into though. I have high standards. This boy has to listen to indie music, not be an asshole, be aesthetic, not be too emotional, have black hair, have a good jawline, actually respect me and not force me to have sex with him just like my last guy. If not a guy, the girl would be into indie and have a nice aesthetic and be nice and love me and care for me and cuddle me. I have been bullied since I was young so maybe online school was good for me. I mean I did get into nasty drugs (pills, smoking) before I was pulled out of school. Maybe it's a good things. I always say everything happens for a reason.