Something ugly laid in bed with me the night before, we fell asleep with its tight grasp wraping a hold on my neck. Now as I open my eyes to be met with unwelcomed daylight pouring into the empty spaces of my room, there is only a soft touch on the red marks on my skin.
It kisses me gently and I smile against its lips at the familiar taste I have built a home for in my veins.
“I was worried about you last night,” My smile leaves me as do the words I promised I’d keep to myself. “Lover, I’ve never seen you so mean, you stormed into my room, and as you took off all your clothes I saw your beauty fall on the ground into pieces. Your eyes, bloodshot and angry, stripped me off any will to leave my bed. I no longer wished to run from your gaze, I allowed it to taint my skin the same color of the sky. You took my space and I let you, I curled far from the wall, knowing how you always like to keep me on the edge of things.. The bruises from the night before still colored my wrists and I thought you could be more gentle this time. You weren’t. You wanted me to prove how far I would go to prove my love for you and when I sat still letting your words pass through me you mocked my cowardice. You whispered your hatred to me but you wiped every tear before it reached my chin, and so I forgave you.. It was getting harder to look at you so I had to turn the lights off to escape the harshness of your features being stolen by the night. The stars shone just enough for me to still see your silhouette as it thrashed in my bed.. I swear I tried to turn my back to you but you know I never can, I just curled into you and allowed you to bury your dirty fingernails in my skin. My tears fell quietly and I wished upon them you wouldn’t notice the puddle at our feet, I knew how much my weakness disgusted you..” .. “You see, it was just one of your moods, that I always understand.”
I don’t expect you to say anything, and you don’t. I have grown familiar with your quiet breathing every morning following one of your tempers. You kiss my cheek and leave me alone in the bed you claimed yours last night. I watch as you sway gently to the quiet beat of the February breeze and the leaves as they fall on my window. And when the wind quiet you hum your own melody. I watch your sad beauty find its place back on your feautres as you close your eyes and simultaneously part your lips, allowing the sunshine to enter you. Your whole body is bathed in the orange light and for a moment I think it might have been the sun who gave birth to you. You open your eyes and warmth is pouring from between your lashes as you approach me smiling. “You look softer today.” I whisper against your mouth as you part my lips with yours. You trace my face with your teeth bathing me in your holy love and land a soft kiss on my forehead.
“Please don’t leave me.” I manage to breathe out and you smile sadly. You and I both know you’ll be taking all of your kisses back once the sun sets again.