Helou everyone, so i have not posted an article for like a week, sorry about that. and if you keep up with my articles you know i am that one person who always tells you to overcome your fears and to try to improve and stay strong and all that stuff.

But in reality, i think i say those stuff because i would love someone to say it to me.
Now, i don't think you will take something helpful from here, so you can not read it at all.

It's just, last year has been hardest one i have ever had in my life and i usually would talk about things that bothered me with friends or i would go to church sometimes, now it has been just so much? i don't know, i don't talk about it, i don't even think about it i guess, things just happen, or thank god everything is fine, but i just feel panicked. like i literally am scared of i don't know what exactly.

i want to achieve some cool things, i want to graduate, to go to uni, to become doctor, to be a good friend, to study, to learn, i want all those things and well i don't know i just find myself endlessly tired all the time. endlessly hopeless, and i have not done one productive thing in months.
literally i have not studies a thing this year and i am supposed to be a good student and i am graduating in like three months.
i can't even leave house, i have not gone to school for weeks and it is so unlike me. i don't know, it feels like i'm alright but when i stay alone i just don't do anything. i either have a meltdown or just watch youtube videos or tv shows and just block myself out from everything.

i so need to help myself, i don't know how, i just got tired of trying, i don't even know if i'm trying anymore.

i just don't know.