I am in a happy relationship right now and i am so glad to have my boyfriend around me. But nevertheless my heart has been broken multiple times.

My worst heartbreak happened 2017. I fell in love with my best friend. I stucked in the friendzone and that hurts so fu**ing much.

Storytime: There was this boy in my informatic class. We never really followed the lesson and spent our time doing some shit. I was in a relationship and he had a so called internet relationship. People made fun of him and told him that his "girlfriend" is not real. They were right but he didnt believe a word they said. I helped him. Talked to him. Got his back.

Then I ended the horrible and toxic relationship i had. That boy helped me. He just listened.

We spent a day at the lake together. Cuddled with each other and talked about life. I realized that i felt myself very comfortable around him. So i fell in love.

We texted so much. Talked about our deepest thoughts. Said "Goodnight" and "Good morning" every single day.

One day i just told him how much i fell in love with him. He did not feel the same and that was the moment my heart broke.

Now things are very complicated between us.

Here are 5 reasons why it hurts so much to stuck in the friendzone:

1. You share memories

(You do not actually call a person your best friend when you do not have some memories together. You have so many insiders with this person, you have experienced the same things and you have some songs you both listen to. You will always asoziate certain moments, songs and places with this person and this makes you fall deeper.)

2. You have the same friends

(If you have the same group of friends things can get very complicated. They`ll make things more difficult. They will always stuck somewhere in between)

3. You like this person

(When you are having a crush on a random person, then it is quite possible that you dislike this person when your heart is broken. But if you are having a crush on your best friend, you can not and do not want to hate the person that broke your heart. That makes it worse)

4. Feelings intensify during time

(You are spending time with your best friend. The more time you spend with one person the closer you get. Feelings intensify because of this. One day you`ll realize that you really love one person. And in most cases you haven`t noticed how that happened.)

5. In a way you do "Couple stuff"

(You and your best friend are close. You hug each other. You tell each other everything. And one day you will talk about what you want in your life. You will talk about your future and probably you will make plans to leave together. Maybe you will say "I love you" to your best friend without even thinking about it. And you fall deeper and deeper because of these small things)

I just needed to write about this. Probably someone can identify with me. I do not know a lot. But I know that there are so many people stucking in the friendzone. And I just wanted to tell you : You are not alone

A song about the friendzone: All I ask - Adele