you'll have to learn how to deal with them and their anxiety, but do not stop loving them because they really need you ... so I will help you with that!

I have anxiety so this would be from my point of view and I know it will help them a lot

DO NOT:

  • take offence if they say ''i thought you hated me'' and stuff. that's just their anxiety, let them know that you don't
  • tell them to calm down: asking for this is presupposing that anxiety is little more than an on / off button,This can generate more pressure to try not to be noticed... and we do not want that!
  • ignore them. it feels fatal and it makes them feel sad.
  • say ''everything is fine'' it's not the problem. It is clear that you want to transmit peace and make a safe atmosphere but if you tell someone who has anticipatory anxiety will think that "you are not paying attention", and that you are not taking their concerns seriously.

Alternative: "Maybe things do not go absolutely well always, but together we can look for solutions if that happens"

  • constantly talk about anxiety. it may be an uncomfortable topic for them which could send them into panic
  • EXPECT THEM TO GET OVER IT. they may think that they are disappointing you, which makes them feel terrible and makes them think that there is something wrong with them
  • say ''is it my fault?'' If you are dealing with a person who has an anxiety disorder, remember that what happens to them is not an answer to your actions

i mean... your actions can influence in a good or bad way. but do not say it, it makes us feel frustrated

Alternative : "I know I can not eliminate your anxiety, but I'm here to help you."

DO

  • be patient. It does not always look like a panic attack. Sometimes it is show in the form of anger or as a great frustration
  • reassure them that their feelings are valid and they are not annoying
  • if they don't look comfortable in a certain situation suggest leaving or do something else
  • just be yourself, they don't want you to change just because they have anxiety
  • educate yourself about anxiety
  • encourage them to try new things but do not force them. (example: phone calls, paying, meet people)
  • show them you are proud of their steps, not matter how minor they seem
  • LOVE THEM A LOT. they need you and they need love
friends, monica, and rachel image

btw. do not forget to love yourself first and take care of your life!!

i hope you are doing well, byee!!!