"I have this huge problem.
I'm a pessimistic person.
Just that? Yes, just that, but it's a problem. Because this problem is slowly conditioning my entire life, and just tonight I've come to realize my attitude has been negative for too long.
Today, for the first time since the start of university, I didn't pass an exam. I don't actually care for the exam too much, but mostly for my attitude towards the entire situation. I mean, obviously, I'm not happy I didn't pass my exam, but my attitude long before the start of the exam is the real issue.
How can I explain this to myself? I'm a strong person, I'm usually the person other people reach to when in need of help, I work hard and for whatever goes beyond my hard work and my temper, I just have faith everything will work out fine. So, why? Why do I speak many motivational words to others, if I actually can't employ them for myself?
I'm in a bad mood tonight, and not because I've been rejected, but because I'm this kind of negative. Since it affects me every day, I'm trusting the fact there's a reason why this tiny, irrelevant thing worried me so much to put me in this terrible mood, and maybe the reason is I need to stop.
How am I gonna do it? I don't know, I have to understand this quickly.
What's missing?
I think the problem is what I have experienced. Before I've lost many people in my life- especially my childhood- I thought everything would have been okay, because bad things never crossed my road. And when I've realized I was terribly wrong, I've understood I had to get in the life logic. So I did, and I've grown. And since then, I've always lived by the quote "look for the good, but expect the worse".
But I've actually exaggerated, and I was wrong.
Terribly wrong"

I wrote this some nights ago. Definitely helped a tiny bit. I'm on my way to a more positive attitude, it's gonna be long. I'm not there. Almost. Not still. But soon.

Noah.